I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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