I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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