You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
