I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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