So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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