some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
