So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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