whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
