I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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