He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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