this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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