Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she woke up with a sticky ear
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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