Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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