dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
