my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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