Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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