He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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