And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
