Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
