dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
