He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
