i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
