So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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