I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
