She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
