Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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