i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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