I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
