sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
