He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
