i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
