Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your shirt... Was in my pants
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
