Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
