go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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