can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize