Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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