Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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