i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
