So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
