His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
