the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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