Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
