I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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