oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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