Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
