Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
