love makes seman taste better
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
