Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
