drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
