So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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