I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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