I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
