Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
