i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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