watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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