Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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