Non-Jews are for practice
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Two words: nipple clamps
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