You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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