I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
