his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
