Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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