i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
