And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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