as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
