Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
